The first day when I begin working toward my goals for Omega Wolf Pack. The first step in anything is always full of mystery. From that mystery spawns both excitement and apprehension.
I'm excited to grow as a person and better embody what it means to be a brother of Chi Upsilon Zeta Fraternity. I'm excited for working with the brothers to create a standards document for the brotherhood. Although I drafted it, I hope the brothers bring up many things to change with it. I love to hear brothers using their voices to create change. I'm also excited to start dropping my weight. I hope this is something that sticks. I've attempted this many times before, but there is always something that gets in the way and pushes me back to where I was before the diet / exercise phase. Lawrence, Lou, and I agreed to work out with each other at Koret, so that should help keep me on track as opposed to me just pushing myself to do it. Another of my goals is to build a computer. This is something I am a bit worried about now. It seemed reasonable before, but upon reevaluating my finances, I currently have $2.88 in my bank account, with my next paycheck going to credit card payments and my parents. Then there's gas, food, XYZ dues, and apparel. Fuck, I really should work more, but I won't go on that tangent. This definitely fits as a goal to challenge my mind because along with learning how to build one, I will need to think about how I'm going to manage my expenses and optimize my buying within the next two semesters.
Even though there is that excitement, the anxiety still creeps around in my mind. I hate it; it's something that always affects me, but I don't do anything to remedy it besides disregard all responsibilities. Another goal I have is to meet the requirements for graduation. I have taken this semester far too lightly and may thus fail two classes. I am trying to take necessary steps to remedy that issue, though, which are as follows:
- start planning out schedule and allot necessary time to study material from class and work on parts of projects
- ask the professor for help, and if help will even realistically allow me to pass the class
- schedule time to meet with my TA for AI to discuss key topics and make sure I understand them
I just hope all of that is not "too little, too late". Throughout the rest of the year, I will keep in mind Robb's words: "It's pointless to just survive; you have to succeed". I don't want to just survive my senior year at USF, I want to succeed through it.
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